Good morning All!
Wow is all I can say. I am reminded that often when we question why it is that we do not have something that we want or desire it is because it is not for us to have. I guess you can say that I’ve felt a lot of loss in recent years and not all the same type of loss. Some loss was sudden and unexpected; some I could see the “writing on the wall” and knew it was a matter of time before it was resolved and some I couldn’t do anything about but stand by “helplessly.” So I did what we all do naturally, I mourned the loss of those “things” but I also gained some things too. Now how is that possible you might ask yourself? Well, let’s see…when you believe that you are supposed to live a certain lifestyle or be surrounded by certain people, you only focus on the life you are living at that moment and cannot imagine that you would be happy without. But just because they are removed or taken from your grasp doesn’t mean that you cease to exist, right? Of course not, you find another way. You find out that you were maybe too dependent or even better you realize that you are stronger and better without it. How about you meet your best self?
I know more about myself now than I did 5 or 10 years ago. I know my strengths, weaknesses and the dirt that God still loves me in spite of. I also learned that things can be much worse and often there is someone who is experiencing worse so be thankful. It has been my experience that in due time, God reveals to you the unknown that you have been protected from when and if He chooses to reveal it. I started thinking about that Sunday, like wow I know He was with me when I was either doing something I shouldn’t or hanging out somewhere I shouldn’t. But what about the things I cried for in my prayers? When I wondered if I wasn’t good enough? When I asked Him why I was alone? When I got an attitude because I wasn’t chosen?
I’ve been shown some truths about people, places and things and I just have to say “Thank you Lord, for knowing best when I couldn’t see the plan.”
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Daniella
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
My Ann Arbor Summer!
Good morning Ann Arbor!
Man it has been really hot! Not just hot here in Ann Arbor, it seems everywhere I've traveled to this month has been over 100 degrees! Maybe I'm the one who's hot and I'm heating up the city! LOL! Okay, for real. I'm a Detroiter to my very core...but this summer I'm in Ann Arbor, ditching the commute and relaxing after a 10 minute walk from work at home. Now that's a new concept for me...walking home from work and doing nothing.
So I thought, why not share my adventure with you. Last night I enjoyed a movie at the Ann Arbor Summer Festival. 500 Days of Summer was the film that I watched with maybe 400 or more people, eating ice cream (half melted), sitting in chairs or sprawled out on blankets. If you have suggestions on other cool stuff for me to check out, don't be shy...share the knowledge!
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Man it has been really hot! Not just hot here in Ann Arbor, it seems everywhere I've traveled to this month has been over 100 degrees! Maybe I'm the one who's hot and I'm heating up the city! LOL! Okay, for real. I'm a Detroiter to my very core...but this summer I'm in Ann Arbor, ditching the commute and relaxing after a 10 minute walk from work at home. Now that's a new concept for me...walking home from work and doing nothing.
So I thought, why not share my adventure with you. Last night I enjoyed a movie at the Ann Arbor Summer Festival. 500 Days of Summer was the film that I watched with maybe 400 or more people, eating ice cream (half melted), sitting in chairs or sprawled out on blankets. If you have suggestions on other cool stuff for me to check out, don't be shy...share the knowledge!
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Ain't I a Woman?
Good morning All!
After being away for a couple weekends, I am looking forward to just being at home and relaxing with my 3 favorite F’s…family, friends & FOOD! Not necessarily in the that order either, I think you can tell which one was on my mind more at the time of writing. Seriously though, I’ve been getting a lot of travel in this summer. I’ve had an opportunity to teach Chicago Steppin’ in Cleveland and Dallas as most of you know I have dance fever and have progress a great deal in the 3 years that I’ve been dancing. I just came back from a girlfriends trip to Vegas where it was over 100 degrees and I learned just how tired I really was when I crashed on Saturday evening and didn’t wake up until Sunday morning. I know who does that in Vegas especially when you’re a P.Y.T. ;)
Anyway, today’s message is inspired by the many interracial couples I’ve seen in the last few weeks during my travels as well as the recent news that Zoe Saldana (Avatar) was recently engage to her white boyfriend of 10 years. I have not completed any formal research (maybe something to consider) and can’t say that the number of couples have increased or that based on my findings which percentage of mixed couples were black men/ other female or black women/ other male but what I can say is that there were many more black men with females of ethnic backgrounds other than their own. I can honestly say that it does not make me angry or upset, but I must admit that I was feeling something. After talking it over with some of my friends, I have come to accept that seeing so many black men with non-black women is causing me to perceive that there is a message being sent that I don’t need to hold out a preference for black men when searching for a mate. You may ask why it is that I no longer believe that I need to hold a preference for them or you may question why I was doing so in the first place. Well, I no longer believe it is necessary because it has become more and more obvious to me that more people in general are finding happiness with others from different backgrounds than themselves and my pickin’s within my own culture seems to be slimmer and slimmer as I meet more men. So while I feel I am waiting for my dark, brown, chocolate, caramel, dark/light-skinned-ded-ded (lol, you fill in the blank) brother to discover and choose this delicate flower waiting for him in the garden, I am discovering that the gardener does not even look in the yard where I am growing.
So, I’m not angry or upset…I just haven’t figured out what this means if it means anything. My first thoughts have been that I will and should expand my horizons. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve always been an equal opportunity kinda girl I mean my first real crush was on a white boy named John in pre-school and who wasn’t fantasizing about Chow Yun-Fat (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), but I’ve just never been seriously presented with the opportunity. So what should I do? Where should I go? After watching Something New, I decided I will need to change up my routine which means changing where I hang out and maybe even expanding my circle of friends. Taking my colleagues up on their invitations to hang out in places I don’t typically frequent with my girlfriends. I decided that process was gonna take time and without announcing to them my planned strategy it could take weeks/months. So I decided to just see what’s out there in cyber land. After quickly setting up a shared profile on 2 cites I’ve discovered that not only are my “brothas” not checking for me, men of other races are also leaving the “African-American/Black” box unchecked when selecting their preferences for a mate. Hmmm, I find that quite interesting. I mean, I saw some who checked every option available but the black girl option. What’s up with that? One guy even checked “other.” Is that the category I fall into…the I’ll take anything that I can get category? So I begin weeding through the “suggested matches” and began questioning why these matchmakers thought this person would make a good match for me when I am not on his list of ethnicities at all?
Where am I going with this? My point is that I can handle black men casting wider nets in order to maximize on their experiences and chance for happiness and they should. Women of all races are knocking down walls, doors and us to get to them. They see everything that I see in them, but I can’t ignore the feeling of not being valued as a black woman by men in general. I know that someone loves us because they are marrying us (I can list quite a few black women with men of different races), but are they just happening upon us or are they looking at us as potential mates and lifelong partners? I must say that I have gained some wonderful family members and friends which are the result of truly allowing love to be color blind and that this is not a question of the validity of their connection but a question of the value placed on black women. Something I am gonna continue to chew the fat on…shout back, let me know how you feel…
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Daniella
"We affirm that our stories, our experiences, our impressions and opinions are
important enough to be saved." --Marcia Ann Gillespie
After being away for a couple weekends, I am looking forward to just being at home and relaxing with my 3 favorite F’s…family, friends & FOOD! Not necessarily in the that order either, I think you can tell which one was on my mind more at the time of writing. Seriously though, I’ve been getting a lot of travel in this summer. I’ve had an opportunity to teach Chicago Steppin’ in Cleveland and Dallas as most of you know I have dance fever and have progress a great deal in the 3 years that I’ve been dancing. I just came back from a girlfriends trip to Vegas where it was over 100 degrees and I learned just how tired I really was when I crashed on Saturday evening and didn’t wake up until Sunday morning. I know who does that in Vegas especially when you’re a P.Y.T. ;)
Anyway, today’s message is inspired by the many interracial couples I’ve seen in the last few weeks during my travels as well as the recent news that Zoe Saldana (Avatar) was recently engage to her white boyfriend of 10 years. I have not completed any formal research (maybe something to consider) and can’t say that the number of couples have increased or that based on my findings which percentage of mixed couples were black men/ other female or black women/ other male but what I can say is that there were many more black men with females of ethnic backgrounds other than their own. I can honestly say that it does not make me angry or upset, but I must admit that I was feeling something. After talking it over with some of my friends, I have come to accept that seeing so many black men with non-black women is causing me to perceive that there is a message being sent that I don’t need to hold out a preference for black men when searching for a mate. You may ask why it is that I no longer believe that I need to hold a preference for them or you may question why I was doing so in the first place. Well, I no longer believe it is necessary because it has become more and more obvious to me that more people in general are finding happiness with others from different backgrounds than themselves and my pickin’s within my own culture seems to be slimmer and slimmer as I meet more men. So while I feel I am waiting for my dark, brown, chocolate, caramel, dark/light-skinned-ded-ded (lol, you fill in the blank) brother to discover and choose this delicate flower waiting for him in the garden, I am discovering that the gardener does not even look in the yard where I am growing.
So, I’m not angry or upset…I just haven’t figured out what this means if it means anything. My first thoughts have been that I will and should expand my horizons. Now don’t get me wrong I’ve always been an equal opportunity kinda girl I mean my first real crush was on a white boy named John in pre-school and who wasn’t fantasizing about Chow Yun-Fat (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), but I’ve just never been seriously presented with the opportunity. So what should I do? Where should I go? After watching Something New, I decided I will need to change up my routine which means changing where I hang out and maybe even expanding my circle of friends. Taking my colleagues up on their invitations to hang out in places I don’t typically frequent with my girlfriends. I decided that process was gonna take time and without announcing to them my planned strategy it could take weeks/months. So I decided to just see what’s out there in cyber land. After quickly setting up a shared profile on 2 cites I’ve discovered that not only are my “brothas” not checking for me, men of other races are also leaving the “African-American/Black” box unchecked when selecting their preferences for a mate. Hmmm, I find that quite interesting. I mean, I saw some who checked every option available but the black girl option. What’s up with that? One guy even checked “other.” Is that the category I fall into…the I’ll take anything that I can get category? So I begin weeding through the “suggested matches” and began questioning why these matchmakers thought this person would make a good match for me when I am not on his list of ethnicities at all?
Where am I going with this? My point is that I can handle black men casting wider nets in order to maximize on their experiences and chance for happiness and they should. Women of all races are knocking down walls, doors and us to get to them. They see everything that I see in them, but I can’t ignore the feeling of not being valued as a black woman by men in general. I know that someone loves us because they are marrying us (I can list quite a few black women with men of different races), but are they just happening upon us or are they looking at us as potential mates and lifelong partners? I must say that I have gained some wonderful family members and friends which are the result of truly allowing love to be color blind and that this is not a question of the validity of their connection but a question of the value placed on black women. Something I am gonna continue to chew the fat on…shout back, let me know how you feel…
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Daniella
"We affirm that our stories, our experiences, our impressions and opinions are
important enough to be saved." --Marcia Ann Gillespie
Monday, April 19, 2010
Good morning Friends!
It has been a very long time since I’ve written last. What’s been keeping me so busy and away from writing you may ask….LIFE! A heard a song writer (Jill Scott) once say in an interview that it is not always possible to write song after song after song. You have to get out in the real world and live life to have something to write about. Well that’s what I’ve been doing or at least what has been happening to me. Not only am I trying to live life but most importantly enjoy it.
This weekend I posted a statement about turning my light up 100x brighter than it already was because I felt like the people I encountered were trying to dim my light for whatever reason. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe everyone I came across did so with mal intensions, and of course as an optimist I won’t allow myself to believe it either but I have come to the conclusion that sometimes I even need to be recharged. Recharging for me first meant leaving those stuck in the mud just where they are and remembering how much I have to be grateful for in my life. Second, taking a good look in the mirror and admiring what God created in a strong, kind-hearted, high spirited, young woman and finally shaking off the negative energy. In a world where we pretend to not need other people or care what others think about us, the truth is we are affected by every interaction and exchange. I try to remember that and often believe that I make the mistake of expecting that everyone else is out living their lives with the same knowledge and I am sorely disappointed when my warm greeting is met with a blank stare or look of being puzzled by my cheerfulness. I often wish I knew what they are thinking. Here’s what I’m guessing they are thinking:
• Why is she so happy?
• Is she crazy or something?
• I don’t know her, why is she smiling at me?
• It is too damn early in the morning to be happy like that!
• Is she about to ask me for something?
• Nobody is that happy!
Well I decided to try something different this weekend and the result was what I was hoping for. I turned it on bright, I mean you need shades to see me bright. Not in a way that was superficial but in a way that allowed how I felt on the inside be reflected on the outside. I turned inward and reflected on how much I love who I am and that was enough for me to be floating on high. Guess what? It was like moths to a flame. You attract what you put out. Those looking to have a pity party couldn’t find a place to leave their “junk” with me, I wasn’t having it. Those who were already joyful enjoyed our exchange and those who needed a lift in their spirits appreciated our encounter. It showed on their faces, the change in their mood. I was most fulfilled by those who I was able to help have a better day. What am I saying? I’m saying that you need to be cautious of those you allow into your space to drain you of your energy while they go on about their day not caring about how they have left you feeling. So go ahead, turn up your light and let it shine so bright that others will wonder what it is that makes you that way.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Daniella
It has been a very long time since I’ve written last. What’s been keeping me so busy and away from writing you may ask….LIFE! A heard a song writer (Jill Scott) once say in an interview that it is not always possible to write song after song after song. You have to get out in the real world and live life to have something to write about. Well that’s what I’ve been doing or at least what has been happening to me. Not only am I trying to live life but most importantly enjoy it.
This weekend I posted a statement about turning my light up 100x brighter than it already was because I felt like the people I encountered were trying to dim my light for whatever reason. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe everyone I came across did so with mal intensions, and of course as an optimist I won’t allow myself to believe it either but I have come to the conclusion that sometimes I even need to be recharged. Recharging for me first meant leaving those stuck in the mud just where they are and remembering how much I have to be grateful for in my life. Second, taking a good look in the mirror and admiring what God created in a strong, kind-hearted, high spirited, young woman and finally shaking off the negative energy. In a world where we pretend to not need other people or care what others think about us, the truth is we are affected by every interaction and exchange. I try to remember that and often believe that I make the mistake of expecting that everyone else is out living their lives with the same knowledge and I am sorely disappointed when my warm greeting is met with a blank stare or look of being puzzled by my cheerfulness. I often wish I knew what they are thinking. Here’s what I’m guessing they are thinking:
• Why is she so happy?
• Is she crazy or something?
• I don’t know her, why is she smiling at me?
• It is too damn early in the morning to be happy like that!
• Is she about to ask me for something?
• Nobody is that happy!
Well I decided to try something different this weekend and the result was what I was hoping for. I turned it on bright, I mean you need shades to see me bright. Not in a way that was superficial but in a way that allowed how I felt on the inside be reflected on the outside. I turned inward and reflected on how much I love who I am and that was enough for me to be floating on high. Guess what? It was like moths to a flame. You attract what you put out. Those looking to have a pity party couldn’t find a place to leave their “junk” with me, I wasn’t having it. Those who were already joyful enjoyed our exchange and those who needed a lift in their spirits appreciated our encounter. It showed on their faces, the change in their mood. I was most fulfilled by those who I was able to help have a better day. What am I saying? I’m saying that you need to be cautious of those you allow into your space to drain you of your energy while they go on about their day not caring about how they have left you feeling. So go ahead, turn up your light and let it shine so bright that others will wonder what it is that makes you that way.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Daniella
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