Good morning,
My Grandma loss her son, my cousins loss their dad, my mother loss her brother, Sandra loss her companion and I loss my uncle. It still does not seem real to me yet. Maybe because I did not see him lying in the bed where he took his last breath. I did from grandma's porch see them carry what was supposed to be a body wrapped in a body bag out from the house down the street and place it in the back of a hearse. To me, it did not represent anything or anyone. But I did see the faces of my aunties, uncle and cousins when they arrived from down the street. Their eyes filled with tears yet to fall and arms that greeted me with gripping hugs.
I was not sure what to feel or think. I just knew that I was there to do whatever my Grandma needed and my Mom told me I needed to get done. It still didn't seem real. I just saw him, my uncle Alex pronounced 'Alec' in a southern tongue, on Christmas and he did what he always did when he spotted your car in front of Grandma's house. He would appear on his porch or that of the neighbor's. In his younger years he would dart from down the street off of Aaron's porch greeting you with a huge smile and some smart comment. To the girls he would always tease us and tell us we were "ugly-mos" and hug and kiss us. He always tormented us that way. We would frown-up and shoot back confidently that we were not ugly. I guess that was a typical Neal woman in training response.
When my sister loss her baby teeth and it seemed as though her adult teeth were never going to make an appearance and boy did my uncle take full advantage of my sister's missing teeth. I swear, he called her snag-a-tooth so much, I thought for sure she would grow up to think that was her name. He teased me about how fast I talked, "Girl, slow down. You talk too fast." He would tease, but I would keep right on talking and didn't pay him any attention.
I remember once, a bunch of us were sitting on Grandma's porch eating ice cream and popsicles from Mr. Softy when he pinched my mom's leg which caused an explosive reaction I had not witnessed before. It was as if he pulled her back into their childhood in a matter of seconds. She was off chasing him, yelling and carrying on. Just thinking about it makes me smile, shake my head and roll my eyes. My mom would tell us stories about the Neal kids and their reputation in the neighborhood. "You couldn't mess with one of us and think you were going to get away with it. You messed with one of us, you had to deal with all of us." Funny, that always made me wish I had more siblings when it came to defending yourself against neighborhood Bebe kids.
Both of my parents grew up in a household of six children which means I had plenty of aunts and uncles to entertain, lecture, rear and discipline me. Now that I'm 33, I've had to come to terms with the fact that they cannot possibly be 36 anymore (sorry Auntie Netta) and are mere mortals. For a young girl growing up with large families on either side, that only means that I have to face the realities of loosing those who have been like second parents to me. Maybe not taking care of me when I was sick, providing me with lunch for school or being their after waking up from a nightmare. But being a listening ear when I'm not sure I can talk to my parents, giving me advice from the school of hard knocks or fussing at me to put an end to my short stint as a pyromaniac. (Not one of my greatest childhood memories.) It gives me a renewed belief in the village raising a child.
I was just asking God last week, "Lord, why do I have the memory that I do?" I seem to remember things that others who were there with me simply do not. I often feel remembering keeps moments alive which could be a blessing and a curse. A blessing when you want good moments to live on forever but a curse when you find it hard to let go of something or someone. But today, I'm sitting here writing and there are so many memories that I cannot possibly include all of them in this entry. So I now have the answer to my question regarding my memory. Now what He has in store for me and the images stored in my brain will all be revealed in time. Until then, I will continue to share my memories with those who care to listen.
I hope that this message finds all of you in great spirits and full hearts.
So to you Uncle Alec, I won't have to say good-bye because you live on in my memories.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
