Good morning!
I hope everyone has had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend with family, friends and loved ones. I must say it was a much needed break. It was a time where I could reflect and spend time thinking about what it is I want to do next. Funny, I usually know exactly what I want to do next and there is always a long list of duties, things to accomplish and things to experience.
Lately, my spirit has been needing to rest a little or as my mother would say, Peace be still." I am after all a busybody and it is difficult to not have so many irons in the fire. But I'm learning to pull back and only commit to what I really feel I can commit to and what I want to be involved in. I'm learning that declining does not mean you will not have opportunities down the line or that you are being less of a friend or that they will not like you. Then again, maybe they will not like you and if it is because you are managing your time and taking care of yourself, then making yourself available would not have made a difference anyhow. Because as long as they are getting from you what they need they could care less about you.
Sorry, I think I'm getting a little off track here. My intention was to write about those feelings you get when you have a great vision for yourself, a vision of something or an opportunity is presented to you that you know you could handle but you are afraid you will fail. How many times have you failed before you have even had a chance to get started? Sometimes God calls you for greatness and you just have to put aside your fears and let the world see His awesomeness coming forth through you. Yes, I know I am the only one in my way of getting to where I want to be.
Last week after talking to my sisters about why I was so afraid to advertise my business, they laughed asking why I would be afraid. It was at that very moment that I realized that I was afraid that someone may actually call me and that I may actually have to do work and that I may actually do an awesome job and others will hear about my work and want to work with me as well. It is ridiculously funny I know, but it is the truth. I thought to myself that I am surely not the only one experiencing this fear. So I thought I'd share my thoughts with you about it and maybe you could share your thoughts with me. Have you had moments where you had to overcome your fear and get out of your own way? Were you able to do so and what would have been lost if you did not? Or maybe you still haven't...what are you losing out on accomplishing.
As always, I hope this message finds you in good health and high spirits.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Daniella
Monday, November 30, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Originally written August 28, 2009
Good morning!
The rain is falling this morning and they are playing Michael Jackson like crazy on the radio so I couldn’t be happier for a Friday! Yes, if you can imagine, I have a huge smile on my face! J
So I was thinking maybe a week ago about some of my prayers over the years (I know only 33, but hey…it seems like a lot to me at least) and how God has answered them. Some have been answered in ways I did not imagine and some have been answered in ways maybe I did not want them to be. For example, I remember talking to God about the fact that there were only two of us, my sister and I if something happened to my parents. This prayer was not really a prayer asking for some help but just thoughts sent to him in my conversation with him. Most of you know I my youngest sister Janay was born the year following the passing of my grandfather. Other examples include listening to my friends singing in middle school and wishing I could be blessed with a voice as wonderful as theirs. While I won’t claim to be a song bird I have discovered my voice and have tried to uphold my end of that prayer by singing his praises which I did at New West Side, Dexter and hopefully at Triumph. So I’ve given two examples of prayers He has answered and how they’ve played out which isn’t a lot compared to how often we talk. But the point of my email was to share the prayer I’ve prayed for at least 10 years and how I now realize that it is being answered and playing out in my life.
I’ve been asking for wisdom. Wisdom to make better choices and decisions. Wisdom to know when something is not mean for me. Wisdom to help others who come to me for advice. Wisdom to just know better and do better. Well guess what I discovered last week? That you don’t get wisdom from just reading books or listening to your elders. You have to go through things, you have to have something to relate to when people talk to you about things going on in their life. Wow. That may have seemed obvious to others but not so much to me. Which is probably why I had been praying a prayer for wisdom because I knew there was so much more to life that I had no idea about. Well, I will leave you with this note without going into too much detail about what I’ve been going through…God hears all of your prayers and doesn’t take any of them lightly. You may whisper something from your heart to His ears and leave it with him never giving it another thought. But He is working on your prayer and will deliver it on time.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Monday, May 11, 2009
I've Got Dance Fever!
Good morning!
As many of you know, I've been learning to Chicago Step...yes, as in R. Kelly's Step In the Name of Love. LOL I even have a partner and have been working out this dance thing rather well! Anyway, Friday we entered our first of many contest in Toledo. We came in second to a serious heavy hitter which confirms that we are well on our way. I am a little overwhelmed with excitement so I've decided to post pictures instead of writing.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Monday, February 16, 2009
I won't have to say good-bye because you live on in my memories.
Good morning,
My Grandma loss her son, my cousins loss their dad, my mother loss her brother, Sandra loss her companion and I loss my uncle. It still does not seem real to me yet. Maybe because I did not see him lying in the bed where he took his last breath. I did from grandma's porch see them carry what was supposed to be a body wrapped in a body bag out from the house down the street and place it in the back of a hearse. To me, it did not represent anything or anyone. But I did see the faces of my aunties, uncle and cousins when they arrived from down the street. Their eyes filled with tears yet to fall and arms that greeted me with gripping hugs.
I was not sure what to feel or think. I just knew that I was there to do whatever my Grandma needed and my Mom told me I needed to get done. It still didn't seem real. I just saw him, my uncle Alex pronounced 'Alec' in a southern tongue, on Christmas and he did what he always did when he spotted your car in front of Grandma's house. He would appear on his porch or that of the neighbor's. In his younger years he would dart from down the street off of Aaron's porch greeting you with a huge smile and some smart comment. To the girls he would always tease us and tell us we were "ugly-mos" and hug and kiss us. He always tormented us that way. We would frown-up and shoot back confidently that we were not ugly. I guess that was a typical Neal woman in training response.
When my sister loss her baby teeth and it seemed as though her adult teeth were never going to make an appearance and boy did my uncle take full advantage of my sister's missing teeth. I swear, he called her snag-a-tooth so much, I thought for sure she would grow up to think that was her name. He teased me about how fast I talked, "Girl, slow down. You talk too fast." He would tease, but I would keep right on talking and didn't pay him any attention.
I remember once, a bunch of us were sitting on Grandma's porch eating ice cream and popsicles from Mr. Softy when he pinched my mom's leg which caused an explosive reaction I had not witnessed before. It was as if he pulled her back into their childhood in a matter of seconds. She was off chasing him, yelling and carrying on. Just thinking about it makes me smile, shake my head and roll my eyes. My mom would tell us stories about the Neal kids and their reputation in the neighborhood. "You couldn't mess with one of us and think you were going to get away with it. You messed with one of us, you had to deal with all of us." Funny, that always made me wish I had more siblings when it came to defending yourself against neighborhood Bebe kids.
Both of my parents grew up in a household of six children which means I had plenty of aunts and uncles to entertain, lecture, rear and discipline me. Now that I'm 33, I've had to come to terms with the fact that they cannot possibly be 36 anymore (sorry Auntie Netta) and are mere mortals. For a young girl growing up with large families on either side, that only means that I have to face the realities of loosing those who have been like second parents to me. Maybe not taking care of me when I was sick, providing me with lunch for school or being their after waking up from a nightmare. But being a listening ear when I'm not sure I can talk to my parents, giving me advice from the school of hard knocks or fussing at me to put an end to my short stint as a pyromaniac. (Not one of my greatest childhood memories.) It gives me a renewed belief in the village raising a child.
I was just asking God last week, "Lord, why do I have the memory that I do?" I seem to remember things that others who were there with me simply do not. I often feel remembering keeps moments alive which could be a blessing and a curse. A blessing when you want good moments to live on forever but a curse when you find it hard to let go of something or someone. But today, I'm sitting here writing and there are so many memories that I cannot possibly include all of them in this entry. So I now have the answer to my question regarding my memory. Now what He has in store for me and the images stored in my brain will all be revealed in time. Until then, I will continue to share my memories with those who care to listen.
I hope that this message finds all of you in great spirits and full hearts.
So to you Uncle Alec, I won't have to say good-bye because you live on in my memories.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
My Grandma loss her son, my cousins loss their dad, my mother loss her brother, Sandra loss her companion and I loss my uncle. It still does not seem real to me yet. Maybe because I did not see him lying in the bed where he took his last breath. I did from grandma's porch see them carry what was supposed to be a body wrapped in a body bag out from the house down the street and place it in the back of a hearse. To me, it did not represent anything or anyone. But I did see the faces of my aunties, uncle and cousins when they arrived from down the street. Their eyes filled with tears yet to fall and arms that greeted me with gripping hugs.
I was not sure what to feel or think. I just knew that I was there to do whatever my Grandma needed and my Mom told me I needed to get done. It still didn't seem real. I just saw him, my uncle Alex pronounced 'Alec' in a southern tongue, on Christmas and he did what he always did when he spotted your car in front of Grandma's house. He would appear on his porch or that of the neighbor's. In his younger years he would dart from down the street off of Aaron's porch greeting you with a huge smile and some smart comment. To the girls he would always tease us and tell us we were "ugly-mos" and hug and kiss us. He always tormented us that way. We would frown-up and shoot back confidently that we were not ugly. I guess that was a typical Neal woman in training response.
When my sister loss her baby teeth and it seemed as though her adult teeth were never going to make an appearance and boy did my uncle take full advantage of my sister's missing teeth. I swear, he called her snag-a-tooth so much, I thought for sure she would grow up to think that was her name. He teased me about how fast I talked, "Girl, slow down. You talk too fast." He would tease, but I would keep right on talking and didn't pay him any attention.
I remember once, a bunch of us were sitting on Grandma's porch eating ice cream and popsicles from Mr. Softy when he pinched my mom's leg which caused an explosive reaction I had not witnessed before. It was as if he pulled her back into their childhood in a matter of seconds. She was off chasing him, yelling and carrying on. Just thinking about it makes me smile, shake my head and roll my eyes. My mom would tell us stories about the Neal kids and their reputation in the neighborhood. "You couldn't mess with one of us and think you were going to get away with it. You messed with one of us, you had to deal with all of us." Funny, that always made me wish I had more siblings when it came to defending yourself against neighborhood Bebe kids.
Both of my parents grew up in a household of six children which means I had plenty of aunts and uncles to entertain, lecture, rear and discipline me. Now that I'm 33, I've had to come to terms with the fact that they cannot possibly be 36 anymore (sorry Auntie Netta) and are mere mortals. For a young girl growing up with large families on either side, that only means that I have to face the realities of loosing those who have been like second parents to me. Maybe not taking care of me when I was sick, providing me with lunch for school or being their after waking up from a nightmare. But being a listening ear when I'm not sure I can talk to my parents, giving me advice from the school of hard knocks or fussing at me to put an end to my short stint as a pyromaniac. (Not one of my greatest childhood memories.) It gives me a renewed belief in the village raising a child.
I was just asking God last week, "Lord, why do I have the memory that I do?" I seem to remember things that others who were there with me simply do not. I often feel remembering keeps moments alive which could be a blessing and a curse. A blessing when you want good moments to live on forever but a curse when you find it hard to let go of something or someone. But today, I'm sitting here writing and there are so many memories that I cannot possibly include all of them in this entry. So I now have the answer to my question regarding my memory. Now what He has in store for me and the images stored in my brain will all be revealed in time. Until then, I will continue to share my memories with those who care to listen.
I hope that this message finds all of you in great spirits and full hearts.
So to you Uncle Alec, I won't have to say good-bye because you live on in my memories.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Good Morning!
We are 23 days into a new year and 4 days into the new administration of President Obama! Wow, I like how that sounds. You know how much I love dancing, Chicago Steppin’ to be exact, so much so that if at any moment you catch me without anything to say just ask me about my dancing and I light up and can go on and on filling you in on the latest with my new dance partner (yay!) and how we are going to take the world by storm!
But anyway, this morning I realized I have already started a new hobby, one I am a little worried will take me over and yet, I am a little surprised hasn’t before now. I am officially addicted to watching CNN and following up on how our new President is doing! Is this really bad? No, not at all. But I am worried because I believe I’m not the only one in my demographic who has a sudden interest in what is going on in my government and in the world. But why? Why haven’t I read the paper more or watched CNN instead of Bridezilla? My dad has always subscribed to the paper for as long as I can remember and he would encourage my sisters and I to read it (as long as we put the paper back in order if he had not read it yet J) and I can still be found skimming the pages of the paper and yes daddy, putting the paper back in order even if I picked it up in a public waiting room. I guess some habits are hard to break after all. But I find myself wanting to know about the orders signed by the President and asking what are the duties of the Secretary of State?
I want to know and I can’t absorb enough information soon enough. Maybe this is the energy the President has sparked in young people, maybe this is the reaction I have been anticipating within myself as a result of his election. Maybe I want to know for myself because I don’t want to rely on the information edited and shaped before it is given to me on the nightly news, I want to know when they criticize him whether they have a real basis for doing so. During election night, I was happy but not moved to tears, actually I received celebratory calls and texts from friends but something inside me would not allow me to celebrate or jump up and down. I just kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for someone to say, “SIKE! We were just foolin’ wit’cha!”
But now, it has come to fruition, Barack Obama is our 44th President and I need to participate as a United States Citizen. This means something totally different than doing my best as a young woman, which is what I believe most of my peers have been striving for, not really feeling part of the established government. I really feel like there is a place for me here in this country and in my community. These feelings I never expected. But now that I am able to identify them I am able to express them to you. Wow, this is an awesome feeling and I hope to build upon it from here and see where it takes me. In the mean time, I will keep soaking it all up and dancing of course.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
We are 23 days into a new year and 4 days into the new administration of President Obama! Wow, I like how that sounds. You know how much I love dancing, Chicago Steppin’ to be exact, so much so that if at any moment you catch me without anything to say just ask me about my dancing and I light up and can go on and on filling you in on the latest with my new dance partner (yay!) and how we are going to take the world by storm!
But anyway, this morning I realized I have already started a new hobby, one I am a little worried will take me over and yet, I am a little surprised hasn’t before now. I am officially addicted to watching CNN and following up on how our new President is doing! Is this really bad? No, not at all. But I am worried because I believe I’m not the only one in my demographic who has a sudden interest in what is going on in my government and in the world. But why? Why haven’t I read the paper more or watched CNN instead of Bridezilla? My dad has always subscribed to the paper for as long as I can remember and he would encourage my sisters and I to read it (as long as we put the paper back in order if he had not read it yet J) and I can still be found skimming the pages of the paper and yes daddy, putting the paper back in order even if I picked it up in a public waiting room. I guess some habits are hard to break after all. But I find myself wanting to know about the orders signed by the President and asking what are the duties of the Secretary of State?
I want to know and I can’t absorb enough information soon enough. Maybe this is the energy the President has sparked in young people, maybe this is the reaction I have been anticipating within myself as a result of his election. Maybe I want to know for myself because I don’t want to rely on the information edited and shaped before it is given to me on the nightly news, I want to know when they criticize him whether they have a real basis for doing so. During election night, I was happy but not moved to tears, actually I received celebratory calls and texts from friends but something inside me would not allow me to celebrate or jump up and down. I just kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for someone to say, “SIKE! We were just foolin’ wit’cha!”
But now, it has come to fruition, Barack Obama is our 44th President and I need to participate as a United States Citizen. This means something totally different than doing my best as a young woman, which is what I believe most of my peers have been striving for, not really feeling part of the established government. I really feel like there is a place for me here in this country and in my community. These feelings I never expected. But now that I am able to identify them I am able to express them to you. Wow, this is an awesome feeling and I hope to build upon it from here and see where it takes me. In the mean time, I will keep soaking it all up and dancing of course.
Peace, Detroit Luv & Soooooul!
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